The True Story of the Villareal Family [1.3]


Welcome to the true story of the Villareal family of Windenburg, a family that Definitely Does Not Have Any Secrets.

(Ok, ok, so this story is only 82.81% true. I took screenshots as I was playing just for fun, letting the game drive the plot, then took some pick-up shots to fill in the gaps.)

There is a secret campsite on the far end of the Von Haunt Estate, and this was where Jacques and his children were supposed to meet to discuss their Definitely-Not-Criminal Plans.

Jacques was grilling hot dogs. He didn’t want his children to starve – not yet, anyway, not before their work was finished.

But he really did worry about his children. “Offspring, it is time to focus,” he said.

Luna, however, wouldn’t stop texting someone on her phone. And he had found poor Hugo lost and wandering aimlessly in a hedge maze. This was why he didn’t want kids. They were idiots.

“Offspring!” he commanded. “It’s dinnertime. Let’s focus, please!”

Hugo and Luna joined him obediently at the picnic table, chowing down on hot dogs, Hugo’s bonfire crackling next to them.

It was time to talk business.

“All right, offspring. Family Fun Day starts now. By the morning, the Von Haunt Estate will be reduced to ashes.”

“Why are we burning this place down again?” asked Hugo.

“I’m an insurance salesman,” said Jacques. “Do you have any idea how much insurance sales increase when there’s been a high-profile fire? Incinerating this cherished tourist destination will make customers flock to my MLM insurance company!”

“Wait, I thought you were in the criminal career?” said Hugo.

“Yes, that’s what I just said,” Jacques responded, annoyed.

“So, this’ll be just like our last Family Fun Day?” groaned Luna. “Because I’m still haunted by the moment we realized Mom was trapped inside the building you made us set on fire. You said the building was empty.”

“Oh yeah, that’s right,” Hugo agreed. “Dad, that was a really traumatic childhood experience and it will negatively affect us for the rest of our lives.”

Jacques rolled his eyes. Why did his children have to be so whiny about things like family members dying?

“Hey, accidents happen in my line of work, but it’s all for a good cause: money. Now, some of you may die, but that’s a sacrifice I am willing to make.”

“Dad, I don’t feel good about burning down this cherished tourist destination. It seems unethical.”

Jacques exhaled sharply. These kids just would not stop with the self-righteousness.

He decided that if one of them happened to get caught in the fire tonight – or, Watcher willing, both – it would be a gift from the heavens. He’d never thought about doing to his children what he’d done to his wife, but… well, now he had.

“We won’t drag Max into this, right?” said Luna, worried. “He’s just a kid. Where is he, anyway?”

Even though it was after-hours, Max was in the dining room of the Von Haunt Estate.

He had gone back to see the portrait of Lord Bernard Escargot Shallot IV, his #1 enemy, somehow managing to slip under the velvet ropes to get closer.

Bernard’s portrait hung above him, but if he climbed onto the end table, he could reach it. Then he could pull it off the wall and drag it into the fireplace.

It was too big to fit into the fireplace, but Max bet the portrait would still get ruined.

And, if he got extra lucky, the painting might go up in flames and spread the fire to the rest of the estate. Now that would be gravy.

Max grinned. Burning the portrait of his arch nemesis and watching his estate burn to the ground would be So. Much. Fun.


10 thoughts on “The True Story of the Villareal Family [1.3]

  1. “He didn’t want his children to starve – not yet, anyway, not before their work was finished.” Daaaamn, that’s cold. Fuck you, Jaques!

    “Why did his children have to be so whiny about things like family members dying?” Nevermind, I love Jaques. He’s such a psycho 😂

    Glad to see Max is taking after his father. Maybe he’ll get the job done without the rest of the offspring! 🔥

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Yeah, my opinion of Jacques remains. Horrible dad.
    Honestly, I kinda wonder, since his wife’s death is rather recent (a year ago), if he never thought of killing his older two children (until then) because his wife was their primary caretaker, and he didn’t have to deal with their upbringing (and all the difficulties raising children/teens comes with).
    Hell, he doesn’t even humanize them (er, simanize them?). He uses a detached term, offspring, to wrangle them. Bleh.
    Hey kids, let’s set fire to a building. Don’t worry, it’s empty. Oh, your mom is inside? Hahaha, uh, I mean … oppsy? 0.o
    I’m just gonna nerd-out a bit on this line: “Oh yeah, that’s right,” Hugo agreed. “Dad, that was a really traumatic childhood experience and it will negatively affect us for the rest of our lives.”
    This is such a SIM thing to say, because it WILL negatively affect (as a moodlet). There isn’t resentment towards Jacques/dad, just towards how the mood altered them.
    Max takes after daddy dearest.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. lol I feel like you’re discovering my true colors. Meaning that I enjoy morbidly dark humor because there’s something profoundly wrong with me 😅😬 I advertised this story as “lightly dark humor”, but maybe I should rebrand it to straight-up dark…

      anyway, I always love your insights and speculations!


  3. Whoa, burning the place down? Not what I expected but I’m all for it! Why? Because fire 🔥 LOL yes Hugo, a career in insurances is pretty much pure evil anyway. Oh geez, that’s how their mum died? And Jackie doesn’t give a hoot 😆 I bet he put her there on purpo-oh, yes, he even admitted it himself. Hugo’s derpy expression makes me laugh every time I look at it 😂

    Look at that, lil’ Max getting way ahead of his dad’s flamey agenda! A real go-getter!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Love that the insurance Jacques sells is part of an MLM. I hope his “offspring” wise up and consider partaking in some definitely non-criminal behavior directed towards him. At any rate, Max seems to be carrying out Jacques plan for Jacques or at least reenacting what happened to Bernard.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I am so interested in the business plan for Jacques MLM Insurance company. Also, I will never not laugh at him grilling hot dogs and yelling, “Offspring! It’s time to focus!”

    Max Villareal is honestly my favorite character right now.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. This is great! I love a good dark comedy.

    I love how Jacques is going to all the trouble to gather and command his older kids to burn the property down, and meanwhile Max is probably just going to do it on his own. 😆

    Liked by 1 person

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