The True Story of the Villareal Family [4.3]


Welcome to the 92.31% true story of the Villareal family of Windenburg, a family that Definitely Does Not Have Any Secrets.

Luna was still not talking to Hugo, but at least they were back to working together silently on their homework.

They were quietly filling out their workbooks, when Luna felt someone shuffle up behind her.

“Is that you, Dad?” she said, but he didn’t respond.

Jacques stared around at nothing, wild-eyed.

He suddenly gasped.

“Do not disturb me,” he growled.


“Do not,” he repeated.

Luna turned around, bewildered.

“Dad, we’re literally just sitting here quietly, doing our homework. How are we dis–“

“Do NOT disturb me!” he yelled again into the distance, as though he were looking straight through Luna.

He suddenly reached out a hand,

-and grasped at something in the air, even though there was nothing in front of him.

Before Luna could react, there was a pattering of feet as he turned and ran away.

“That was… weird.” Even Luna had to admit something was more off than usual.

“Are you ready to talk to me again?” said Hugo.

Luna sighed. “Ugh, I dunno. Maybe.”

She looked back down at her homework right when the door creaked open and someone walked in calmly.

“Offspring!” announced Jacques jovially. “I have planned our next Family Fun Day.”

If Jacques had been acting erratically before, there was no sign of it now. He spoke with the utmost calm and composure.

“We will go on a hike, in a blizzard. I’ve heard it builds character.”

Hugo looked up incredulously from his work.

“Dad, we can’t go hiking in a blizzard if the forecast is warm and sunny every day. We don’t have weather.”

“Fine! I’m going outside!” he roared. “I can’t get anything done with the four of you disturbing me!”

Hugo was pretty sure there were only two people sitting at the dining table.

And even though it was 9PM at night, Jacques stormed out of the house.

Once Luna heard the front door slam shut, she leaned in towards her brother. “Hugo, I think you were right about Dad. He’s losing it.”

Finally, finally, his sister was listening.

“Ok, so what do you think we should do?” he said. “Should we go to the police–“

“–and risk them discovering what we’ve done?” Luna interjected. “You know they’d only arrest us. Then who’d take care of Max?”

She sighed. “I think the best thing we can do is try to avoid Dad and his Family Fun Days, at least until his mood swings blow over.”

Hugo fell silent. He didn’t like it, but he couldn’t think of anything better.

“Speaking of Max, I need to put him to bed. Where do you think he runs off to, anyways…?”

Max was running somewhere he wasn’t supposed to be.

“Stop,” he commanded. The Renegades came to a halt, and Max inched ahead to poke his head around the corner.

Around the bushes stood the Von Haunt Estate, which Max and his father were technically banned from.

He glimpsed the ghost of Lord Bernard drift by the entrance and felt a swell of adrenaline. He had missed seeing his sworn enemy.

Max turned back and looked up at the Renegades.

“Here’s the plan,” he said. “You’re going to burn down the Von Haunt Estate.”

“What, burn it down?” Wolfgang suddenly protested. “But this is a cherished tourist destination and I have a lot of happy mem– I mean, some people have a lot of happy memories here. I didn’t agree to burning it.”

The others murmured in agreement.


Max narrowed his eyes.

“Fine. Then you’ll slash all of Bernard’s paintings.”

This time, Ulrike hesitated.

“I– I don’t know,” she said in a small voice. “I kinda like Lord Shallot’s paintings…”

Seriously? Who could like that man’s paintings? Only bonkers people.

“All right, then release a swarm of flesh-eating cockroaches.”

The Renegades muttered uncomfortably. None of them wanted to touch flesh-eating cockroaches.

“Bury explosive mines in the gardens for unsuspecting tourists to step on?”

The Renegades grimaced and shifted among themselves.

Max was livid now.

Since when were the Renegades a group of sissies? Did they forget he was their leader? He would show th–

Morgan interrupted his thoughts.

“Look Max, I don’t think the rest of the group is comfortable with these suggestions, so why don’t we stick with our original plan? We’ll still let you pick what we write.”

Max loathed Morgan’s patronizing babysitter-talk. Any monkey with a spray can could graffiti a building.

But tonight, his opinions were outnumbered by these fraidy-cats.

“Fine,” he conceded. “I’ll tell you what to write.”

They asked if he was going to join, but he reminded them that he couldn’t read or write.

While that was true, the real reason he stayed behind was that he didn’t want to get caught. Letting others do the dirty work for him was a trick he’d learned from his dad.

It was just a shame he couldn’t stay to see the look on Bernard’s face.

Bonus incident

It was a glorious morning as the ghost of Lord Bernard poured himself a cup of joe.

He drifted outside to take a sip, basking in the sunshine, listening to the birds chirp, when he spotted something dark in his periphery. It looked like something was written on the walls.

He drifted down the steps to get a better view.

There were letters written on the front of the Von Haunt Estate, all right.

He narrowed his eyes, reading them aloud.


While the graffiti only took about 30 minutes to wash off, the Von Haunt Estate unfortunately had to shut down for the entire day, as multiple complaints were lodged from families startled by the uncontrollable yelling and cussing of a certain splenetic ghost roaming the estate.


9 thoughts on “The True Story of the Villareal Family [4.3]

  1. Volunteering is nuts right now but I have been summoned. NAAAARD!!! NAAARD!!!!

    There is nothing saner than being obsessed with an NPC from a game that came out 4 years ago. Nothing bonkers about that at all.

    More pressingly, the best part of this rivalry is how easy it is to root for a found-family dynamic here. Max burning down the Von Haunt Estate? As a couple long-surviving characters here could tell him, that would be derivative. At best. It’s like he and Bernard are passing around the brain cell and it dropped in the bushes somewhere.


    Liked by 2 people

    1. Max, you hear that? Someone alert Newton and Leibniz, because you’re derivative! Maybe, instead, you could learn a thing or two from these OG long-surviving characters about burning down estates. (Actually, Max would LOVE a found family that he could antagonize all day long, though his excitement might be one-sided :P)

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m glad they only have good weather and that Luna has the audacity to give Jacques a proper wtf look. Max is a terror and he gives off child-demon vibes, but somehow discovering that he cannot read or write–it’s hilarious. What kind of leader is he? Wolfgang and Luna should abandon their respective clubs and abscond together.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Jacques is hunting for motes! 😜 This isn’t the Magic Realm, Jacques. Try again there.

    “We don’t have weather” 😂 Foiled again!

    Looks like Luna maybe has a bit of sense after all. But I suspect avoiding the Family Fun Days will be easier said than done.

    I love that the Renegades seem to have more scruples than the Paragons. 😂😂 Max’s failure to get them to do his bidding is hilarious.

    Awesome bonus scene. “Fopdoodl-“. 😆 Good one, Max. Run out of room there, buddy? Planning is essential to a well executed graffiti attack.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Either Jackie there has found a new way to make his kids start questioning his sanity (and maybe get away with an insanity plea at court later) or there’s some other person that looks just like him walking around. Or maybe – oh gods a healthy hike in a blizzard is it? 😂 Hugo’s reply made me laugh out loud. Sounds like the watcher is missing a few expansion packs.

    LOL poor Max, none of his renegades are as hardcore as he is. If nothing else, at least his dad would maybe have been proud of him right there. He really would make for a good successor to whatever empire Jackie has built. Or maybe he’d just burn it all down to the ground. Probably the same thing in Max’s eyes.

    HAHAHAHAHAHA the fopdoodle strikes again! 😂🤣

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Heh! The fact that their Watcher is a total cheapskate and missing a lot of expansion packs is maybe the only reason the Villareals are still alive 😂

      Ooh, Jackie’s definitely missing out on capitalizing on Max’s potential 😛 You’ve got me thinking of all the father-son bonding moments they could be sharing… all the bring-your-kid-to-work days… all the help-your-father-dispose-of-this-dead-body assignments…


      Liked by 2 people

  5. Oh man, Jacques is really losing it. But at least the apparent lack of Seasons means that the offspring lives another day 🙈

    Poor Hugo and Luna. Nothing brings people together like a shared weird experience.

    Oh, Luna agrees with me! He IS losing it!

    Ah, Max – leading the Renegades from behind like a true leader.

    Yay, Haunted shoutout! Yuan truly is bonkers and we love him for it.

    Max has so many great ideas! And he isn’t letting being illiterate hold him back, we stan! Okay, so maybe Max is a menace. But I am still so sorry for what my other other project will do to him…

    Liked by 1 person

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